Bloch Talk

I personally think that at this point in my life I most resemble the small child in the background of the scene. She (for I like to think it is a girl) has an aura of complete innocence about her, and yet a curiosity that compels her to look on at the miracle being performed. In some ways I too am like this. Having lived a sheltered life, as it appears the child has due to the mother’s protective arm, I am oblivious to much of the happenings in our world. Moving out on my own (perhaps going to the market for the child) forces me to realize that there is so much more than I ever knew. As a result, I find myself eagerly watching everything I can. Yet the girl is depicted as being rather shy (to me), not wanting anyone to see her looking; standing just outside the spotlight. I have lived a huge majority of my life like this. I am curious, intrigued by what is happening around me, but don’t want anyone else to watch what I am doing. I want to learn, but not be noticed. The shy little girl in this situation reminds me exactly of myself.
I am ashamed to say that the same characteristics I previously described also apply to my being a disciple-scholar. I would like to be adequately learned in all aspects of knowledge, but find that I am held back by my own personal insecurities. I don’t want to ask questions that everyone else may already know the answer to, and risk sounding dumb. My mind tells me I will never be the best, so why bother trying? What will people think of me if I reach out to someone in need, someone who doesn’t have luxuries that I do, someone different? This is what I must change about myself, what I need to do better at. To mirror Christ’s actions, I must mirror His attitude – that of humility and meekness. I need to ‘be in the world, but not of the world.’